Ascending

September 29th 2024

Letter to My 33rd Year:

Today, on this 29th day of September, I stand in awe of the years I have lived, the roads I have traveled, and the battles I have fought. Thirty-three years ago, I was born on a Sunday evening, a day filled with promise, a day touched by the breath of God. Born into this world on the Sabbath, a day of rest and reflection, I know now that my journey has always been destined for something greater—aligned with God's purpose even when the world did not understand.

It rains today, as it did on this day last year. Rain, in its quiet way, speaks to me spiritually. Some people would be increasingly upset the rain has interfered with plans to go out. But I opt to go in and think about how it cleanses, renews, and nourishes all that it touches. Rain is God’s way of reminding me of His grace, even in the storms of life. This year and last had some of the most formidable storms I faced in my youth of life yet. Toxic workplace, abusive supervisors, stress and health-related issues, personal relationships deteriorating, and the death of my first cousin Victor. “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater” (Isaiah 55:10). So with this I am hopeful to be like the earth, receiving the rain of His blessings, standing tall through seasons of drought and deluge. 

This day holds more than one sacred meaning. My family’s church, our spiritual home for over a hundred years, is the place where I was baptized into a real, more authentic turn of faith in which I had to say goodbye to my great-grandmother exactly three years ago today but this time on a cool autumn Wednesday. I remember her strength and her resilience, and I carry her wisdom with me as I move forward in my calling. The tears shed that day, in solitude after all the business was handled remind me of the rain today—grief intermingled with grace. I wrote my second Master’s Thesis dedicated to my Grandma Babe because her memory carried me the whole two years of that experience. 

I have faced adversity, pain, and sorrow. Like all of us.  I have been transformed by challenges that sought to break me but instead shaped me. Through every trial, I’ve been held by God's hand, sheltered by His grace, and guided by His purpose. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). I know I am walking in alignment with His divine plan, which is the only path I trust. I am not here to please everyone in the world. But I am here to walk in grace and love as much as possible. 

As a Black feminist educator, mother, and scholar, I aim to use my voice to challenge systems of injustice, create spaces for healing and empowerment, and raise my daughter in the fullness of her light. I strive to uplift my community, to stand in solidarity with those who are marginalized, and to honor the radical love that Jesus teaches us. I am committed to creating knowledge, embodying truth, and embracing my ancestors’ wisdom. In my philosophical and educational work, I work hard to elevate the voice of systematically oppressed communities and uncover the stories that have been here forever. In my work as a philosopher, educator, and scholar, faith is not abandoned because it is the glue that holds me together.

To my Ancestors, I give thanks—especially to my dear cousin Victor, who joined the ancestors earlier this year. I will miss your birthday texts most of all, cousin, but I feel you with me, still showing up for me. Your love, like the rain, everywhere at once- falls on my spirit, nourishing me in ways that words cannot express. You are truly one of a kind! 

To my Ebenezer church family, thank you for being a “rock” from childhood to now. It is a blessing to bring my daughter here now, in the church where I was raised as we live in the house I was raised, to begin her foundation in faith. Thank you for being a great community of support, love, and prayer as I navigate the world outside of these doors. Although for now, we are small in number the spirit of this place is boundless, deep, and abundant in Great and Faithful things. 

And finally, to God, I offer my deepest gratitude for the grace that has carried me through. For the communities, you allow to surround me, support me, and pour love into me, for the determination that fuels my every step. Protect me, O God, from enemies both seen and unseen. Keep the hearts of those around me pure and just as I commit my work and life to the purpose You have designed for me. I will trust in Your will, follow Your path, and live in Your grace.

Here’s to my 33rd year, a year of deeper purpose, greater growth, and abiding faith.

In faith and gratitude,

 Shapel

This is the letter that I wrote for the celebration of life and love as I entered a promising year 33 here with God's grace. It also marked the third year of my Grandma Babe's funeral. A sacred time indeed. In many spiritual traditions, autumn is seen as a time when the veil between the physical and spiritual worlds thins, making it an ideal time for honoring ancestors and connecting with the spiritual realm. Practices like ancestral worship, gratitude rituals, and meditation on life's cyclical nature are common.

This new age has afforded me time to slow down and contemplate where I am on my spiritual journey, assessing whether current paths are aligned with deeper soul callings. In certain esoteric teachings, 33 is linked to Christ Consciousness or the energy of ascended masters, such as Christ, Buddha, or other enlightened beings. It represents the awakening of divine potential within oneself and the embodiment of higher truths.Those spiritually attuned to the number 33 are often seen as aligned with their soul’s higher mission. It’s a number that urges one to fully embrace their spiritual path and step into leadership or roles of spiritual service.

It is truly my time.